How to Tell Someone You Love Them
Last Updated: March 30, 2023
Love is a beautiful feeling. It’s intoxicating to love someone, and it’s ego-boosting to be loved by someone. But to love the same person that loves you…it’s what we live for.
Now, what if you’ve found what you believe is your forever person and want to express your feelings but are worried about pushing them away? Are you afraid it might be too soon or too bold for you to drop the L-word?
Stick around to find out how to tell someone you love them and make your relationship last for years to come.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
You’ve been thinking about this person day and night. They’re the first thought when you open your eyes in the morning, and you can’t get them out of your head before you go to bed after a long day. It feels as if your life has been flipped upside down ever since you met them. If this is how you’re feeling, then it’s likely that you have a big crush.
Sit with your feelings and try to come to terms with your emotions. Loving someone should bring you peace — like coming to your parent’s house after a couple of months and smelling your favourite dish cooking.
Before telling your partner that you love them, it’s best to be honest with yourself and accept your feelings. Once you come to terms that you are, in fact, in love with this person, then you can begin to think about ways to tell them.
Who Should Say “I Love You” First?
A century-long debate with no clear answer. Who ends up saying the first “I love you” really depends on you and your partner and your relationship dynamic.
Some people think that the man should say it first because it shows that he’s invested in the relationship, and it’s a bold move that will hopefully make the woman feel special.
Others believe that the woman should say it first because she’s usually more in touch with her emotions, showing that she trusts her partner enough to share her feelings.
Those are some stereotypes we face daily regarding heterosexual couples. However, things usually don’t get so technical when dealing with a same-sex couple’s first “I love you”. If you’re the type of person who wants to make a grand gesture, you could say it first. Or, if you feel more in tune with your feelings and emotions and are sure that you love the person, there’s no point in waiting, right?
However, if you’d rather play it safe, you can always just wait for your partner to say it first.
Take Your Time
Saying “I love you” too soon is never a good idea. As there are no rules in love, there is also no rush. You might feel pressured by society or your friends and family to take your relationship to the next level, but you shouldn’t let that influence your decision.
You should only say “I love you” when you genuinely feel it in your heart. If you’re not there yet, then take your time and wait until you are.
Time and Place
When should you say “I love you”? Factor in timing and location when you finally decide to express your feelings to your partner. For example, you don’t want to say your first “I love you” during a fight or when you’re both exhausted after a long day.
Instead, try to pick a time when you’re both in a good mood. Maybe cook dinner together and then share your feelings over a romantic meal. Candles are never a bad idea, and there’s no such thing as too many of them.
Put some time and effort into creating an intimate setting because this is a special moment that you’ll both remember for the rest of your lives.
Don’t Beat Around the Bush
When it’s finally go-time, be as direct as possible. Sure, you can memorise a little speech if it makes you feel more prepared, but ultimately, it’s best to get straight to the point.
Speak from the heart and avoid awkward silences. Wait for the perfect moment after or during your date. Listen to your intuition, and you can’t go wrong.
Say It in Person
If you’ve already googled “how to tell someone you love them over text”, here’s your answer — you don’t!
Try avoiding using technology for this special moment unless, of course, you’re in a long-distance relationship. Any other case is unacceptable.
Looking into your partner’s eyes while saying “I love you” will make the moment unique and memorable. They’ll be able to see the sincerity in your eyes and know that you genuinely mean it. And we’ve all learned the importance of eye contact by now, haven’t we?
Ways To Tell Someone You Love Them
If you don’t want to take the traditional route to express your feelings, you can always be creative and think of cute ways to say “I love you”, such as:
- Writing a letter explaining how you feel
- Making a mixtape
- Planning a surprise trip
- Writing it with candles/flower paddles
- Making a scrapbook
What if They Don’t Say It Back?
Knowing when to say “I love you” for the first time is tricky. It’s possible that your partner won’t feel the same way when you finally tell them, but that’s okay. Just because they don’t love you yet, doesn’t mean they never will.
Give them some time to process their feelings, and don’t take it personally if they don’t say “I love you” back right away. They might need a little more time to process.
The most important thing is to stay calm and give your partner the necessary space. They’ll come around eventually; if they don’t, then maybe it’s time to move on — you have the whole world to conquer.
Five Love Languages
After successfully expressing your feelings and getting the response you wanted to hear all along, it’s crucial to understand that relationships require constant work. You have to put in the effort to make it last, and one of the best ways to do so is by learning your partner’s love language.
In case you’re unfamiliar, the five love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and receiving gifts. The concept was created by Gary Demonte Chapman 30 years ago, and to this day, it’s a social phenomenon.
The theory’s core is that we all express and feel love differently, so it’s important to find out what makes your partner feel loved. Once you know their love language, it’s much easier to make them feel special and appreciated.
If someone has physical touch as their love language, then they likely feel loved when you hug them, hold their hand, or give them a massage.
Basically, anything that physically connects you two together will make them feel appreciated. If this is your partner’s love language, then they’re probably not the type to shy away from PDA.
Words of Affirmation
Having words of affirmation as your love language means that you feel loved when you receive written or spoken compliments, hear “I love you”, and are listened to actively.
Small gestures such as an unexpected afternoon text can make all the difference.
Acts of Service
If your partner’s love language is acts of service, then they likely feel loved when you do something to help them out.
This could be making them breakfast in bed, taking the dog for a walk, grocery shopping, filling up their car with gas, or anything else you can do to make their life easier.
Spending one-on-one time with the person you love is considered quality time. This could be going on a date, taking a walk together, watching your favourite movie, or anything else that you can do together without distractions.
If someone has receiving gifts as their love language, it doesn’t mean that they want you to spend a lot of money on them, but rather that they feel loved when you put thought and effort into getting them a small, meaningful present.
It could be something as simple as their favourite candy bar, a book they’ve wanted to read, or a piece of jewellery you know they’ll love.
Communicate with your partner to find out what love language describes either of you and openly ask in what ways you can make the other person feel loved. Note that you can have more than one love language.
Figuring out how to tell someone you love them can be daunting. Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been with your partner for a while, saying “I love you” for the first time is a special occasion.
Remember to take your time, choose the right moment, and be genuine when you say it. And if you’re not sure how your significant other will react, just keep in mind that everyone expresses and feels love differently. The most important thing is that you stay true to yourself and come from a place of peace and love.
By following these simple tips, you’ll be on your way to telling the person you love just how much they mean to you. And hopefully, they’ll say it back.